cyst check and next steps

My cyst was smaller, but not small enough. We were told to continue sitting this cycle out, and I was instructed to remain on pelvic rest.

Disappointing, but I’m ok. I’m back on my feet.

Sometimes it takes me a few days. I need a few days to crash, and cry, and embrace all my despair in the form of dramatic sobs and refusing to get out from under the covers. My helpless husband stays by my side, trying to cheer me up by enticing me with fro-yo or by bringing me surprise bouquets of flowers. But he knows. Once I’ve had my monthly tantrum, I always find it a little easier to pick myself up, accept reality, and move on.

And so I’m moving on. But since I’m always a girl with a plan, I had to come up with something new to keep myself calm and help me believe that this next cycle will be The One. As my therapist has pointed out, so much of my hope is attached to action. When I’m forced out of action, and I have to just sit and wait and lessen my control grips, I start to spiral downward. Downward to that negative place that eats hope and smacks down positivity. Which is why this cyst and sitting out this cycle hit me so hard.

And although my therapist continually encourages me to make peace with sitting and waiting and acknowledging that I have no control, I tend to resist it.

My next action item is to do an HSG, which I requested today. I’ve had every single infertility test out there, except this one. Because I’ve gotten pregnant, and an HSG checks for blockages in the fallopian tubes that would prevent a pregnancy from even occurring in the first place, my doctors have brushed it aside and told me I didn’t need it. Which is probably true. But I was also told I didn’t need a saline ultrasound, which is the procedure that led us to discover that I had a large uterine septum and likely the cause of my losses.

After two miscarriages, a D&C, and a hysteroscopy I need some reassurance that every bit of my reproductive track looks pristine. I tend to lie awake at night wondering, has any scar tissue developed from the hysteroscopy I had 5 months ago? Is there some weird thing going on in my tubes, that’s going to now prevent me from getting pregnant again? Has the chaos of the last two years destroyed anything or broken anything in there? I know this last bit makes no sense, but still, I lay, and I worry.

The HSG will answer these questions and hopefully give me some serenity and confidence to continue moving forward. And as an added bonus, I wouldn’t mind the extra fertility boost that the HSG is known to give, as that lovely dye paves the way for a smooth ride for that sperm and that egg.

I know there are horror stories out there about the HSG, and it probably seems a little crazy to beg for this unpleasant procedure. But I am a worrier. I love to fret. I develop irrational fears. Repeat pregnancy loss makes all those tendencies ten times worse. And so if there’s one thing in this process that we left out and didn’t check, it will haunt me day after day.

Peace of mind is a precious thing. I’m willing to let someone shoot dye through my fallopian tubes and uterus just for a little bit of it.

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41 thoughts on “cyst check and next steps

  1. I found the HSG to be, oh my, so painful. But I have scar tissue from an eptopic which I told made it a little worse. The tube isn’t completely blocked, dye still past through, there is just a section where there is less space for it to use. The pain only lasted (for me) about 30 seconds.

    If it eases your mind, DO IT, demand it! We need all the peace and reassure we can get!

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  2. I had one and my experience was terrible – mostly because of the teenage doctor that conducted it telling me that I would have a lot of problems going through childbirth if I couldn’t handle the HSG. I won’t lie, it hurt. I mean, just hearing the words “clamp on your cervix” hurt. The good thing is that it is a quick procedure and the pain was probably exacerbated by nerves.

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    • Oh, WOW. I just read your post and I cannot believe how little compassion and patience that doctor had! You would think they would be used to having nervous, emotionally vulnerable patients. I’m so sorry you went through that, and had to listen to that idiot doctor. Your ER experience sounded awful too, it reminded me of what I went through with my first miscarriage 😦

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      • The peace of mind is worth it. Don’t let the horror stories scare you. The other good thing about it is that it is one of the few tests I have had done where I got the results on the spot. No waiting.

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  3. We are in the same boat with the HSG! I’m just waiting for AF to show in the next day or 2 then I have to schedule it for 5-7 days after. I am scared from stories like Bruised Banana’s but then I also hear from other people that its a breeze! We will get through them together 🙂

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  4. My HSG went great and didn’t hurt a bit and I am not a very tough cookie. I guess it all depends on the MD and of course the patient. ;). During my HSG is when they found my uterine septum. I had an SHG done last month ? To check if there was any scarred tissue from the surgery. Thankfully there wasn’t. So fingers crossed for you and a painless HSG and no scarred tissue! :):)

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  5. My HSG was the same as the saline ultrasound. I’m told some women find it painful, but my theory is after so many miscarriages and other procedures, I can handle a bit more in uterus pain rather well now. I have no idea if that’s true, but it seems to make some sense in my mind.
    Oh, and I’m glad you are doing well with all of this emotionally and have been able to pick yourself up. And I know for me at times it’s just so hard to keep the fears of more problems at bay. So I’m really glad to hear that your doing okay with too.
    I hope your next cycle is the one!!

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    • I’m glad to hear your HSG was similar to your saline ultrasound. My saline ultrasound was not bad at all. I also tend to have a higher pain threshold for uterine-related pain (which is what I’ve learned through all my MCs and procedures). Maybe I’ll eat my words after the HSG, but I’m crossing my fingers it won’t be terrible! Thanks for your nice words, it feels so much better to be out of that crappy slump I was in!

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  6. I had several miscarriages and procedures before my HSG and I found the HSG to be pretty uncomfortable. Take some Aleve before you go. I cramped for awhile after it too buuuuuttttt I got pregnant the next cycle and had a very healthy pregnancy and LIVE, HEALTHY baby after that. So looking back it doesn’t seem SOOOO bad. I had many miscarriages after my daughter as well. RPL just sucks.
    Hoping the cyst hits the road, the HSG is easy for you and you will get your baby soon.

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    • Love that you got pregnant right after, and an actual healthy baby too! That gives me some good hope 🙂 I’m so, so sorry about all your losses though. RPL really is the worst thing ever. Thanks for the tip on the Aleve, I will definitely be loading up!

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  7. Not to add to the anti-HSG train but I too had a horrible time with the HSG – I’ve had 2 now. Maybe in part due to my endometriosis and heinous AF’s (I take morphine and dilaudid to try and get through them), the pain was off the charts for me. Tylenol/Advil or whatever normal people take for periods, absolutely didn’t work. I’d err on the side of caution as the cramping stayed with me for most of the day and ask for maybe a T3 if you aren’t used to taking heavier drugs. HSG’s are easy procedures though, in and out in 15-20min. I think it’s a good call to ask for one 🙂

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  8. I am glad you are moving forward with a plan! I had an hsg done and it wasn’t pleasant. Tolerable, but when they tell you that you will feel pressure, prepare for pain. That way you won’t be taken off guard like I was. The nice thing is that once it is over the pain immediately goes away. Good luck with it all! Oh, did you find out what kind of cyst you have?

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    • Shoot! I totally forgot to ask what kind of cyst it is! I was so preoccupied with whether we could try and how big it was it totally slipped my mind to ask. I don’t think it’s the kind you have, I have a feeling if it was they might have mentioned it? I’m not sure. The doctor just kept saying it should go away with my next period. Thanks for the heads up on the HSG! Looking forward to getting it over with 🙂

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  9. When I had my HSG done I found it uncomfortable, mostly because it took them a few attempts to get it in because of my tilted uterus, but it wasn’t terrible and popping an Aleve beforehand helped. I will say there was definitely some cramping afterwards, but again, nothing terrible. I wouldn’t sign right up to have another unless needed, but it was entirely tolerable and over quickly. Try not to sweat it or read any more experience stories online, for every bad one there will alway be a good one, everyone is different. Good luck and may you reap the benefits of it’s clearly abilities!

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  10. I’m not going to lie to you my hsg was the worst pain I’ve ever experienced. On the other hand my shg was also painful but much more tolerable. I’m really commenting because I think you should know that the shg is better than the hsg, so if you have already had that one the hsg isn’t going to show you anything else. I’ve been through lots of REs and they all agree that the hsg is not necessary when you’ve already had an shg.

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    • Ugh, sorry to hear your HSG was so painful. I guess it’s good to know what I’m in for! My SHG was about 7 months ago…I guess I wanted this HSG because I want to make sure no scar tissue has developed from my hysteroscopy 5 months ago, and make sure my tubes are clear which I don’t think the SHG tests for, but I could be wrong. I’m also neurotic and scared, so if there’s a test out there I haven’t done, I want it 😉 Thank you for sharing your experience and what you’ve heard from your REs!

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      • Your welcome. The SHG does clear your tubes and checks for both scar tissue, uterine abnormality, and tube blockage. I feel you I obviously had both but the HSG first which looking back I wish I hadn’t. But that’s one persons view. Hope it helps.

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  11. my experience with an HSG was horrible! I will spare you the details as I really don’t want to relive it. yikes :/ I am a type A personality and LOVE control, but if you have read my blog very long you will know that I have given up all control and am just riding the waves. It was scary at first, but I can testify that letting go really is the most freeing experience ever. Sending you hugs and praying for you as you are told to wait. xoxo

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  12. I think you are right to request the test…it can’t hurt and you want to make sure you rule everything out. I had it done and it really wasn’t that bad. Just a little minor cramping when they put the dye in…just make sure you take Motrin or something before! And I know the waiting sucks but just remember maybe the waiting now is helping to put other good things into place for the future. Good luck!

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  13. I have a hard time sitting idly by and waiting too hon. If the HSG will give you peace of mind, then I say go for it, and I have heard that it can boost fertility too. Hope it goes well and praying it clears the path for your rainbow. Hugs ❤

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  14. I’m one of those painless hcg gals. I went in expecting it to hurt both times, an both times I thought that my paps are worse (maybe I just have the worst ob gyn ever?) I took a Tylenol codeine aboyt 45 mins prior and had a painkiller for after but didn’t need it.

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    • Love hearing from those of you who had a painless experience with HCG! My SHG wasn’t so bad, the hardest part was getting the catheter through my tricky cervix. But that was mostly just uncomfortable, not painful. Hoping this is similar! Thanks so much sharing your experience!

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  15. I’ve had one, Alexis. And if doing it gives you the ability to check something further off your list, I say go for it.

    I’ll be thinking of you, sweetie.
    And sending you wishes for a painless procedure.

    With heart and knowing,
    Dani

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