Katie from The Cat Bed (I recommend checking out her fantastic blog) asked me to participate in a Blog Hop that features new women writers across all genres, and celebrates why we are writing. I am quite honored that she nominated me to participate, given how highly I think of her and her great blog.
Although I don’t quite consider myself a writer, I’ve always loved to write. As a child writing was part of who I was; I would sit for hours crafting my own short stories, writing poems, and using the books I loved reading as inspiration. I’ve always been a quiet, private person, and have found it easiest to communicate my thoughts through writing, when I have time to think and reflect on what I want to say. And although I pursued a career in book publishing, the role I was in did not require much writing, and over the years I started to lose my imagination for the craft.
I started writing again after my husband and I experienced our second miscarriage, first just privately, to begin processing all that we had been through. I was searching for some sort of meaning in the experience, looking for answers, and trying to find strength through our journey. Thinking about what we were going through and putting it into words on paper helped me process and deepen the experience.
What am I working on/writing?
Right now I am just focused on my blog. At any given moment I have a handful of posts in progress and a list of topics and ideas that I want to write about. I’m also continually reading articles and researching all things related to pregnancy loss and grief healing that I hope to explore in future posts and provide to my readers as a resource.
How does my work differ from other writers in my genre?
As I’ve gotten more involved in the blogging community and started following the incredible stories of so many women that are experiencing repeat pregnancy loss and/or infertility, what’s really struck me is just how much of a shared experience this is. The spectrum of emotions, from jealousy, to shame, to grief, to utter helplessness and frustration, is something that we all experience, and to a level of intensity we may have never quite anticipated or understood had we not gone through this. My blog follows the same roller coaster experience that so many others face, only in the context of my own life.
What I’ve started to explore, which may differentiate my blog slightly, are the psychological ramifications of miscarriage. This is an area that I hope to develop further through researching studies and other academic sources, to help other women understand what we are actually faced with when we suffer a miscarriage and how to heal in a healthy way.
Why do I write what I do?
My miscarriages have had a huge impact on my life. Facing these losses, as well as the reality that there is a possibility that we may not be able to have biological children, has caused me to grieve in a way I never have before. And the heartache and struggle stays with you, month after month. The experience has changed me. It’s deepened me as a person, taught me many hard lessons, and as cliché as it is, made me much stronger.
I decided to write publicly about my experience initially to help other women. Although I’m a private person, I really struggled with the silence that surrounds miscarriage. Grief is such an isolating experience, and miscarriage is even more isolating because it is so hard for others to truly understand if they haven’t experienced it themselves. Plus, there is little societal recognition for the loss. I also think in our society we find nobility in silent suffering. But I think we also should validate those that can embrace, acknowledge and be honest about difficult emotions. I started this blog to set out to do just that. I wanted to be one more voice in this taboo community, and let other women know they are not alone in their suffering. That’s also why I decided against blogging anonymously, although I completely respect the decision to keep fertility struggles private.
In addition, there is such a lack of knowledge and research surrounding pregnancy loss and infertility. I hope to continue to write about the emotional repercussions I’ve faced, as well as learn more about the medical aspect of repeat pregnancy loss and infertility. Eventually I’d love to start a foundation to promote medical research in this area, and provide psychological services for women suffering through this. There is a huge need for this in the US.
Next Week’s Blog Hopper
I am excited to share with you next week’s blog hopper, When Dreams Become Rainbows. I really admire this blogger and have found her writing be full of wit, candor, and honesty. I encourage you to check out her site.
I’m a 27-year old (as of next month, haha) army wife/publishing graduate student from Boston, MA. I’m attending Emerson College for my MA in Publishing and Writing. I live with my husband and our two cats. I love wine, chocolate, Joss Whedon, and music. I’ve been with my husband for 8 years, married for 2 years.